This simple advice works whether you want to get healthy, get your house under control, change your style, go from a disappointing marriage to a happy marriage, let go of past hurts and find joy in the future, and the list goes on. (Please don’t bring up Afghanistan or Nazi Germany. We are talking about YOU and your life, not the worst problems in history.) And yes, to be fair, we are also not talking about things that happen to us over which we have no control, like a child being diagnosed with cancer, and things like that.
The two steps are:
- DECIDE what you want.
This is different than wishful thinking. This is different than thinking “Oh, gosh I wish my life were different. I wish we had a better marriage. I wish my husband/wife had never broken my heart/betrayed my trust. I wish we had more money. I wish I had more help around the house. I wish I were in better shape.” It’s more like “Today is the day. I have decided I am going to get healthy, get my house in order, do everything I can to save this marriage, raise my children to be successful, responsible adults. The end.” - DO the hard work.
I am here to guide you, coach you, motivate you, etc. But at the end of the day, it’s you who does the hard work. Make no mistake — some of it is HARD work. I’ve had to do my own hard work, and I may have more to do in the future. And you have to do yours. No one can do it for you, even if they wanted to.
That’s it really. If you want things to change, you are going to have to submit to the process of change. You are going to have to take action. If you just decide and then don’t take action, it’s like getting in your car thinking you are going to the library without putting your key in the ignition and driving to the library. You’ve got to have both things – the decision and the action to carry it out if you’re going anywhere. Otherwise, you’ll just be sitting in the driveway all day long, thinking about going to the library.
If you’re in the wishful thinking phase, that’s ok. We often start there before we are truly ready to make a change. I would like to encourage you, though, to stop waiting for the “easy way”. There really isn’t one. And I would also like to encourage you to “take yourself on”. You’ll learn what you need to learn. And I’m here if you need me, to help, guide, encourage and motivate you.