Dear Lynn,
My spouse and I are going on a cruise together next month. This is the first vacation we have taken together in years. Instead of feeling anticipation, I’m filled with worry they will complain about everything and we will fight the entire trip. Any advice on how to make this vacation a good one for both of us?
Waterlogged
Dear Waterlogged,
Ah, the dream of a romantic getaway—where the sun shines, the ocean breeze soothes, and your husband suddenly transforms into a charming, appreciative travel companion. Too bad cruise commercials don’t come with a disclaimer: “Results may vary. Side effects include whining, excessive eye-rolling, and spontaneous debates over the buffet quality.”
Luckily, you have options. Here’s how to keep your sanity intact while navigating the high seas with a chronic complainer:
Strategy 1: Take Different Vacations
Yes, I’m serious. If your travel styles are wildly incompatible, consider taking separate vacations. He can find something he enjoys while you go sip cocktails in peace. If that’s not an option, read on.
Strategy 2: Adjust Your Expectations
You’ve been brainwashed by cruise ads where husbands twirl their wives around the dance floor and whisper sweet nothings under a moonlit sky. Reality check: If he’s a grumbler at home, he’s not going to morph into a swoon-worthy leading man just because you’re at sea. But here’s the good news—cruise ships are massive! If he’s unbearable, simply relocate. Lounge by the pool, book a massage, or disappear into a good book. You’re not chained together.
Strategy 3: Drop the Perfectionism
You’re worried that his negativity will ruin the trip. But here’s the thing—only you get to decide that. Enjoy what you can, whether it’s your morning coffee, people-watching, or an overly enthusiastic game of cruise trivia. Channel your inner 10-year-old: If you were a kid on vacation and some grumpy adult was being a downer, would that ruin your fun? Probably not.
Strategy 4: Create a Mental Escape Hatch
If his complaints start to wear you down, don’t engage. Instead, mentally retreat to a peaceful place—whether it’s a happy memory, a future dream, or just picturing yourself as an audience member watching his rant like it’s bad stand-up comedy.
Strategy 5: Expect the Unexpected
Vacations, like life, are unpredictable. Maybe you’ll have an amazing time, or maybe someone gets seasick, the weather turns, or the food is disappointing. Stay flexible. It’s just a trip, not a test of your marriage.
Strategy 6: Respond with Amusement
When he starts griping, try an unexpected reaction: Treat his complaining like it’s the most adorable thing ever. Laugh, play along, or gently tease him about his “fascinating” cruise critiques. He might lighten up. And if he doesn’t? Well, that’s why we have Strategies 1-5.
Enjoy your cruise, Waterlogged. Just don’t let a little negativity sink your fun.
Bon voyage! 🚢
