There are a number of relationship counselors who say that sometimes using pornography can enhance a couple’s sex life, or that it’s perfectly fine as long as it doesn’t replace real sex with one’s partner. They will also point out, however, that pornography sometimes results in a complete shutdown of real sex, and that it leads to using harder pornography, and can harm couples sexually and financially.
Pornography is not going to help you; it is going to hurt you. There is nothing beneficial about pornography. I have never in all my years of counseling heard anyone say, “I sure am glad I started using pornography. It has really helped our sex life and our relationship.” Never. I do not intend for this post to be a rant about the evils of pornography, although there are evils and I could go into detail about them. However, I would like to weigh in on this subject. I feel people in general are confused about this. It is sad to see people hurting and struggling with this, and to see marriages harmed and sometimes even destroyed. It may seem like pornography is a good idea if you need to spice up your sex life, or if you are lonely, or whatever. You should be aware that besides exposing yourself to an addictive substance, and hurting your partner and children, you are the end user of a product which is inextricably linked to drugs, human trafficking and organized crime.
That being said, if you or a partner or child has been using pornography, all is not lost. You can decide to stop. If you are addicted, you will probably need help to achieve this. Think about setting up an appointment with a therapist, or check out a twelve step program or even a residential treatment center for pornography addiction. If you are married to someone who is addicted to pornography, you should know that this situation is not your fault, and seek help for yourself as well.
The widespread availability of pornography has not helped people’s sexual problems. It has made them worse. Pornography is not a nice business. It is predatory, and it has become more so. No longer does a person have to visit the shady side of town dressed in a hat and sunglasses to obtain pornography. It will find you. It is easier than ever to fall into this trap. If this has happened to you, seek help and get out of it. The rest of your life is waiting for you.