Tiny houses are getting a lot of attention nowadays, so I’ve been thinking about the attraction of minimalism and tiny living. I think people are so overwhelmed by how complicated everything is that the idea of living in a tiny space with a composting toilet (!) is appealing. (Can you tell I really like my flush toilet?) Less to pay for, less to clean, less to worry about. And it forces you to dump a lot of your stuff.
What does this have to do with relationships? Well, a lot of times, people feel that they are doing “all the work” in the relationship and they get resentful. They feel the other person is not “doing his/her part”. I would like to just say that you probably are both doing too much. Instead of focusing on what the other person is not doing, is there any way you could revamp your lives and “go tiny?” Do you have to have a birthday party for your one-year-old that needs an event planner? Could you just have a cake and take some pictures? It might be a lot more fun…and easy.
How can you go tiny with your relationship? One way is to change your expectations.
For example, date night doesn’t have to be a major event. It could just be pizza and a movie…at home even. Your kids don’t have to win a soccer scholarship. They could just make mud pies. (Einstein played in the flour, so there!) Another way to go tiny is to develop your own family rituals. These are small things that keep you connected. Because they are rituals you don’t have to be in the mood, or go to a lot of trouble to keep them going. Some examples of rituals are hugging in the morning before you start your day, or saying “I love you” before you go to bed. You could have dinner together in the evenings. If that’s not possible don’t worry about it. Develop another ritual. Make it easy and make it pleasurable. Go tiny! Keep it as uncomplicated as you can. It’s the little things that we remember and enjoy.