Just about every couple could benefit from seeing a marriage counselor at some point in their marriage.
Timing is an important consideration. Don’t wait until your marriage is almost dead before you see a marriage counselor! Make an appointment when you “hit a snag”. What I mean by that is that when you and your partner have an issue that isn’t resolving and is in fact growing more troublesome, or could grow more troublesome if it isn’t resolved, then make an appointment.
It’s far better to see a marriage counselor for a few months, learn some new skills, and strengthen your marriage than it is to wait until it could be too late.
Marriage counseling helps people get along better, learn how to communicate effectively so that they get what they want, and deepen the connection they have with each other. Think of it this way: would you rather declutter your house for 20 minutes a week and keep things manageable, or would you rather wait until the city is going to evict you from your home unless you fill four construction sized dumpsters and have a hazmat team come in and clean up afterward? Would you rather train yourself to eat healthy, drink water and exercise, or would you rather have major surgery and a permanent colostomy bag for the rest of your life? You don’t have to wait to take action until the survival of your marriage is at stake.
You can decide to thrive and use all the resources at your disposal to make your marriage the best it can be. Your marriage doesn’t have to be a source of pain for the rest of your life. You can actually learn to enjoy each other. If you learn how to run your house, you can sit down in a comfortable home, and enjoy a cuppa. You will find it’s much easier to take care of your home than it is to try to survive in chaos. The same is true of your marriage.
Going to a marriage counselor doesn’t mean your marriage is “bad” any more than taking your car into a mechanic means your car is a lemon.
Everything in this world needs maintenance. As far as the expense goes, marriage counseling is much less expensive than getting a divorce–just like having your oil changed is much less expensive than throwing a rod and having to put a new engine in! What if your partner doesn’t want to come with you? That’s ok. Come by yourself. One person in a marriage has the power to make a world of difference. When do you know it’s time to go to a marriage counselor? When you hit a snag, when you need help resolving issues, when you aren’t sure what to do next, when you feel frustrated, when you aren’t getting your point across, when things have gotten difficult, when you need someone to talk to whom you can trust.
Is it time for a tune up? , as I help many people experience the relationships they were meant to have.
Photo credit:
Toa Heftiba