Please humor me by answering the following questions:
- Do you get enough sleep?
- Do you drink enough water?
- Do you eat nutritious food?
- Do you live in a filthy, cluttered house because you just don’t have time to clean it?
- Do you speak to yourself in a negative manner, telling yourself you are not worthy, that you’ll never get it right, that you don’t deserve anything nice, etc.?
Think about this. If you answered no, no, no, yes, yes, how is this different from being in a hostage situation? These are all approaches designed to break down the person. And they work! We think this is inhumane when we hear about it on the news. But how are we living? How are we making our families and children live? The only difference between you and a hostage is that the SEALS won’t be rescuing you. You will have to free yourself.
So, where do you begin? I highly recommend checking out Flylady.com and starting on the baby steps. As Flylady says, you did not get into this mess in one day and it will take more than one day to get out of it. And you are going to have to take baby steps.
The first thing you need to do is to go to bed at a decent hour. Turn off the computer! Turn off the TV! And then please give Flylady’s habits a chance, even if they sound crazy, or like they won’t help your particular situation. They really will help. Please try it. You are going to have to change your habits and your mindset. Stop pushing yourself to the limit and start taking care of yourself. I am convinced that one reason people have affairs is because they would like to escape the chaos their lives have become, but they don’t know how! Same thing with divorce. Do you know how many marriages would be saved if people started getting enough sleep and taking care of themselves? A significant number.
If your house is a wreck, you will not be able to function until it is in better shape. So, the next thing to do is to set a timer for 15 minutes and start decluttering. Don’t worry about washing the windows, or any deep cleaning until you can find the floor. Just keep getting rid of stuff, etc. You have way too much to deal with. This is probably true in almost every area of your life. You are going to have to slowly find out what is healthy and normal. (Hint: It is not healthy to get up at 4:00 in the morning so you can take yoga! You need your sleep! Take a 15 minute walk instead.)
I know I haven’t given you the entire roadmap for how to get out of the chaos, but please go to Flylady.com and sign up for her emails. Don’t get mad if you don’t understand right away how this will help. Just jump in and get started.