- Turn off the TV.
Try making one night a week a TV free zone. No TV Tuesdays, for example. Turn on some nice music, light a candle, just relax, and have a good old-fashioned conversation. - Clear out as much clutter as you can.
This is an ongoing project. No one (well, maybe that one person!) is completely clutter-free at any given point in time. But the less clutter you have in your home, the more relaxed, safe and cared for you will feel. - Clear out your schedule.
How easy it is to be overscheduled! Build in some cushion so not every minute is accounted for. Have some time to do nothing. Even if you are not together, having unscheduled time creates space and eases tension. I think people often go to Mexico on vacation for unscheduled relaxation. Be radical! Relax on a Tuesday for no reason at all! - Touch your partner more.
It doesn’t have to be sexual. Hold his/her hand. Put your hand on his/her cheek and say “How’s my sweetie?” or “I love you.” - Cook more.
Coming home to the smell of something good says “home”. If both of you are busy and don’t have a lot of time, try using your crock pot. - Think about your lighting.
Harsh overhead lighting does not help you relax. Use lamps and candles. Install dimmer switches on overhead lighting, especially in eating areas. - Use afghans and pillows so that you can really get comfortable.
- Serve hors d’oeuvres.
Even if it’s just cheese and crackers on a plate, it’s civilized and makes you feel special. Throw on a few strawberries or grape tomatoes, too. - Think about the noise level.
If the TV is loud (or even the stereo), if you are shouting over the children, it is stressful. Making things quieter can change the energy of your home. Speaking softly can help you feel calmer. - Fill your home with good smells.
Patchouli and sandalwood are two good smells for creating more intimacy. - Take good care of yourself.
If you are continually tired, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy.