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One reason you are not having sex

Most people have problems in the bedroom at one time or another. And sometimes those problems can be complicated. But SOMETIMES it’s pretty straightforward. 

Ahem. Do your children come into your bedroom quite often? Do they climb into bed with you when they are scared, etc.? Does no one in your house stay in their own bed all night long? Do you drag pillows and blankets all over the place, sometimes landing on the couch, sometimes in your child’s room, sometimes on the floor somewhere? 

If so, problem solved!!! 

In order to have sex, you must be together in the same place ALONE.

I know the attachment theory of child-raising would disagree with me, but children need to be trained to sleep in their own bed all night long by themselves. They may very well resist this idea. They may scream. They may cry. That’s how they get their way. Have a bedtime routine. Have a bedtime box, with a special stuffed animal they only take out at night that is their bedtime buddy. If you have to get up to go into their room because of a nightmare, go ahead and reassure them, and then LEAVE and go back to your own room. Put in a nightlight or whatever will help them stay in their room.

Does the idea of not doing what your children have convinced you is necessary cause you to feel guilty? Think of it this way: One of the best gifts you can give your children is the gift of parents who stay together. You will also be allowing them to learn to self-soothe, which is another very valuable skill. 

Protect your bedroom from onslaughts of nightly traffic and give yourself a chance to have some time alone with your partner.