Here’s the deal, guys: I’m going to unlock the secrets of the universe for you in this post, so pay attention! The reason your wife wants you to do the dishes, and stop watching TV so you can spend time with her or the children is because …it makes her feel safe and protected. Yes, you read that right. Let me explain.
During child-bearing and raising years, part of the female brain is ever on the lookout for danger. When your wife is upset with you for not taking care of the house, it’s about more than just the task at hand. If you are not “paying attention” to what needs doing in the home, you will be unable to protect her and your children from danger. If you are zoned out watching TV and playing video games, will you notice if there is an onslaught by marauding invaders? If you do not notice the dishes or the trash, she fears you will not notice danger from the outside and be able to protect her. Anything which threatens the stability of the house inside is your opportunity to show her you are capable of defending the borders and keeping her safe. She may not be able to explain that to you, but that is the real reason why “paying attention” is soooo important to her. Pay attention. Take care of what needs doing inside the house. This will communicate to her that you are able to defend her, the children and the home from threats.
When your wife feels safe, a number of pesky marital problems may just disappear. So, the next time your wife is anxious, dissatisfied, or fretful, defend the borders – do the dishes!