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Do You Have Nothing in Common With Your Spouse?

Good! That’s not a problem. It means you are two different people with different perspectives, different interests, and different ideas of what fun looks like. If you and your spouse had a lot in common, you could stay in your comfort zone, but you probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to expand your horizons like you would with a spouse with whom you have “nothing in common”. The important thing for your relationship is not to have a lot in common, but just to spend time together. You don’t want to go to the baseball game? I get that. But did you know that you can go anyway just to spend time together even if you don’t want to? And you might even find you are enjoying yourself! It’s a different experience from one you would seek out on your own. But that’s what relationships are all about. If you and your spouse had everything in common, one of you would probably not be necessary! Relationships call us to something beyond ourselves.

You are free to do things you don’t want to do, just for the purpose of spending time together, and having fun together. When you were dating, you probably went to at least a few places that weren’t your favorite, but you went anyway, just to be together. You can still do that when you are married! Think about this: Most children could be very happy having chicken nuggets and/or fish sticks every night for dinner. They don’t WANT to eat the weird food they have never had. Or maybe they have had it and have decided they don’t like it. I’m sure you get the connection. Sometimes it’s a good thing to try things you don’t like. Besides your spouse getting to have your company along with one of his/her favorite activities, it’s actually good for you too to just do something different.

It is also okay for your spouse to go bowling, or go to the baseball game sometimes without you. You don’t always have to be together. It’s really okay to have different interests. If you have nothing in common with your spouse, reframe this “problem” into an opportunity to learn about someone totally different from yourself. Instead of being threatened by someone else’s “differentness”, you can be excited about having a chance to discover something new. And that could be FUN!!!