Marriage Advice
Wrong Belief #3: I Can Drink 4 Glasses of Liquor Every Night without Consequences
Another way of phrasing this wrong belief is to think that you can do things without incurring consequences. Actions have consequences. So, obviously, four glasses of liquor every night is going to cost your body. Your body can’t keep up with detoxifying that much...
Wrong Belief #2: I Deserve to Have Mind-Blowing Sex
The belief that we deserve to have mind blowing sex every time we couple causes so much pain and anguish I have to weigh in on this topic. Let me state up front I am not a sex therapist. However, I have counseled lots of couples over the years, and I have seen how sex...
Wrong Belief #1: I Can Control My Spouse
Wrong Belief #1: I can control my spouse's behavior, thoughts, and speech. When we see this sentence written out, we may think we don’t believe "that". But let me ask you this: do you get angry when people don’t agree with you? Do you take it as a personal affront? Do...
How to Survive Valentine’s Day Without Getting a Divorce
For many Valentine's Day is stressful. Perhaps your partner was upset with you for whatever you did or did not do at Christmas. This feels like your last opportunity to make up for a year’s worth (or more!) of mad. Anyway, somehow your evaluation of how your marriage...
The Holidays Are Over And You Are Still Married
For those of you who are still married after the holidays, congratulations! (Often, husbands are shocked when wives file for divorce just after the holidays, but that’s a different post.) Today’s post is going to address the “moving target” aspect of relationships,...
Do you feel like running away from your crazy life?
It’s December – and you may feel like getting on your Harley and heading West just to escape your crazy life. Who could blame you? Let’s examine things one by one... Your child’s school needs cupcakes and cookies and 10 extra hours of volunteer time for the annual...
Best Tip for Celebrating the Holidays
Let go of perfectionism! It’s perfectionism that is making the holidays so difficult. One of my favorite quotes is “Perfectionism is the enemy of the good.” When we want things to be perfect, we don’t get to enjoy the good that is already there. The good things in...
Help! I’m Married to a Clean Freak!
You can’t take it anymore—the constant criticism, the rampant perfectionism, the persnickety attitude, the OBSESSION. The problem is, you’re married to this person; and this person is not going to be okay unless things around the house pass muster. No leisurely...
Help! I’m Married to a Slob!
I have had numerous clients – both men and women—who are in severe distress because their spouses are messy and/or are not doing their fair share of the housework, and it is driving them crazy. Some have been so miserable that they have seriously considered divorce....
How to Talk to Your Spouse about Money
From the introduction of How To Talk To Your Spouse About Money by Lynn Busch & Courtney Henderson There are some couples in this world that can easily discuss money issues together, but as Lynn likes to say they are "statistically insignificant". The rest of us...
How to know if your marriage is worth saving
If you are reading this, you are probably wondering if your marriage is worth saving. I think there is hope for your marriage. As a marriage and family therapist, I have worked with many couples who have recovered from serious issues such as infidelity, addictions,...
When Your Feelings Are Hurt
We have been told to tell the person who hurt our feelings all about it. We have been told that it’s their job to apologize for hurting our feelings, and they should care that they hurt our feelings, and they should show us they are really sorry, and do things to...