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Are you and your partner in a standoff? Have negotiations shut down? Are there significant parts of your life that are not working because no one is in charge? It happens. However, there is a way out.

Even if your spouse is a butt and you are right, decide to move on. Decide you want a functioning marriage rather than making the shutdown all the other person’s fault, even if it really is all the other person’s fault! Why? Because you don’t need any more ridiculous behavior in your life! You can get enough of that by watching the news. Besides if you start acting just as terrible as the person who “started it”, you will have to blame yourself for the situation at least a little bit. Not fun. Life is too short not to have as much fun as possible.

So, what do you do? I’ll tell you but you may have to hold your nose. It’s okay. You can do this.

Treat your spouse how you want to be treated, not as she deserves to be treated.

Yes, I know. She deserves to be hung upside down by her toenails. She probably really does! But this is about YOUR life and YOUR marriage. Did you sign up to follow your spouse around trying to keep up with administering justice and keeping things fair? It’s about as much fun as having a job in collections. Resign! Get another job! Decide to start approaching your spouse the way she should approach you — with love and consideration. Put her first, even though she doesn’t put you first. Speak kindly and softly to her even though she’s mean to you. Her bad behavior does not get to ruin your life! Soon, your behavior will begin to “infect” your marriage and get things moving in the right direction again. Remember, you are doing this for your constituents (yourself and your children)!