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Problems always seem worse during the holidays. Marital problems seem especially difficult, because it seems like you could just decide to “get over” whatever is wrong and “be happy together” during the holidays. Anyway… what do you do if you’re in the middle of some pretty difficult stuff and it’s Christmas? Give yourself a break this year. It’s not going to be the perfect Christmas. It’s probably going to be difficult. If at all possible, try to keep trips to family to a minimum, especially if you’re not getting along. Having to be nice to your mother in law when you would like to murder her son is REALLY HARD.

If you were going through chemotherapy, would you put yourself through a typical Christmas celebration? Would you drive to the airport in an ice storm? Would you sleep in a chair in the airport for three days and eat chips on Christmas Eve? You probably wouldn’t. You’d stay home.

Go ahead and cry. Believe me, even if it seems like you are the only one whose life and marriage is in a mess, you’re not. You are in good company.  Those sweet old couples who have been together for 50 years and still hold hands? I can guarantee you it wasn’t always wonderful. Marriage is actually supposed to be hard. Sometimes it is insupportably hard.

Let your life be what it is this year. If you could make it be different you would. But don’t despair. No matter how impossible your marriage may seem now, things do change!!! And may I suggest that you see a marriage counselor if you are not doing so already?