I must apologize on behalf of my profession. We have done so much damage to people by insisting that spouses should meet one another’s needs. That is really not going to happen, and in fact there is a reason for that.
Marriage is not a way to “be happy”. Marriage demands sacrifice. That’s a word you don’t hear too much anymore. It’s a bit of a hard sell.
Wouldn’t you like to come to marriage counseling so you can learn how to sacrifice yourself relentlessly for your spouse?
Didn’t think so. And yet, there is a reason for the agony we experience in marriage. We grow. We change. We turn into adults.
Think of it this way: Is it really good for the 21 year old to inherit a bazillion dollars and be able to satisfy every desire instantly? That is a recipe for trouble as we have seen time and time again. Sometimes we look at the gorgeous rich young person (no names!) and think, well, maybe they have gotten themselves in a mess, but if I had all that money, etc. I’d know what to do with it, and I’d have a great life. No, you wouldn’t. You’d get in trouble, too. Maybe you wouldn’t have to go to rehab, but there would be something, and it would be more than you could handle.
Marriage is really more than we can handle all by ourselves. It pulls us out of our selfishness and demands more out of us. Yes, it hurts. But it causes us to turn into ourselves.
Remember next time you are suffering that people who “have it all” really don’t. And count your blessings.