The short answer to that question is: stop talking and take action.
Many of my female clients believe that if they just explain to their husbands what they want, their husbands will understand and comply. If you change the word “explain” to “communicate,” they are exactly right. If talking doesn’t work the first time, resist the temptation to repeat yourself louder, faster, after serving his favorite dinner, while screaming, wearing a sexy nightgown, in the morning, in the evening, etc. It is time to learn the language that makes sense to your husband – the language of action.
Husbands often vow to change when it is too late. By the time the wife has filed for divorce, she has no interest in working on the marriage anymore. He had his chance when she told him what she needed repeatedly, and he just didn’t listen. Filing for divorce is an action – that’s what got his attention. Filing for divorce is an extreme example. Not every action has to be negative or drastic. For example, if your husband watches TV and won’t pay attention to you, don’t tell him how that makes you feel. Instead, take the remote control and hide it in your blouse!
Another way of speaking with action is to do the opposite of what your spouse expects. This can be fun. Yes, it isn’t “fair” that you have to learn his language – why doesn’t he have to learn how to communicate with you? However, if you approach this with a spirit of adventure, you could really have fun, broaden your own horizons, and, most importantly, get what you really want and need. (You don’t really want your husband to be your best girlfriend, do you?)
Before you begin, take the time to know what you truly want and what you simply cannot compromise on. Once you do, connect with the power of your own will, use your imagination and creativity, and take action.