Here are some dos and don’ts for couples on Facebook:
Do set your timer when you login to Facebook.
This will help you keep control of how much time you spend on there. Time gets away from us when we are on the computer, and the timer helps us set limits and stay true to our priorities. A good amount of time might be fifteen minutes, but whatever you decide, use your timer to help you.
Do set aside a time to spend with just your spouse.
Do not let cell phones, laptops, or any other technology go on your date with you. No texting, no posting where you are and what you are doing, etc. Just spend time with each other.
Do be aware of the pitfalls of the chat feature.
It can offer the secrecy required to let an emotional affair develop. If you feel nervous about talking to someone on chat, turn the feature off and just don’t use it.
Do share usernames and passwords.
Your spouse should be able to get into your account and vice versa. This is important so that if one of you is ill or dies, the other can notify people and/or close your account.
Don’t change your status when you have a fight!
You are still married, and not everyone needs to know you are having trouble. So many friends will offer advice that sounds like this: “You don’t need to put up with that.” Well, as a marriage counselor, I can tell you, you are probably going to have to put up with something at some point in your marriage. The advantage of not sharing difficulties is that you won’t have to listen to other people’s opinions when you work through the rough patch. Get your relationship help from someone who can really help you – like a counselor — not from various and sundry friends on Facebook.
Don’t post that your husband is out of town on a business trip, or that you are both on vacation, etc.
This is a security issue. It may not be just your friends who are reading your post.
Don’t use Facebook to disconnect from your spouse.
We all need a little down time, and that’s not what I’m talking about. Just keep it balanced with time for each other, too. (There is no substitute for “face time” – not even if it’s called Facebook. Wonder how many likes I would get if I posted that on my Facebook page?)
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