In order to truly love anyone, you have to love the whole person. You can’t love their good qualities and hate their bad qualities. One step towards loving the whole person is to accept their faults and imperfections. But it is interesting to go one step further and actually know, accept and love their faults and imperfections. Try this on yourself.
I am not telling you to commit crimes and then think you’re wonderful. There is a difference between wrong actions, and evil thoughts, and a fault, quirk or imperfection. If you have hate in your heart for another person, that is something to fight against. If you are messy, or demanding, or vain, or consistently late, or slow, or if you procrastinate, or if you are too sensitive, those are faults. You may have spent your whole life hating your faults and wishing you were different … wishing you were perfect.
What would happen if you stopped hating those things and instead, embraced them?
What would happen if you decided to love those things about yourself and welcome them into your life?
Perhaps those faults and imperfections have a gift for you that you have never accepted, or received. Wonder what it could be?
One way of trying this new concept is to decide you love the way you look – all of it. You can decide you love your wrinkles. Your wrinkles tell a story about you and your beautiful life. They may tell a story of strength built through suffering. They may show your sense of humor. You can decide you are more beautiful and/or handsome now than you were when you were 21, and had smooth skin. You don’t have to fight your wrinkles. You can welcome them and love them. Hey! Life just got easier. No more Botox treatments!
Practice loving yourself – every single bit. And then, practice loving your spouse. When you are ready, try loving that thing(s)he does that has driven you insane for the past 20 years. See what happens.