R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find Out What it Means to Me!
One of the most common problems in relationships is feeling that the other person does not properly respect you. We have even started saying (s)he “disrespected” me. While this can happen to anyone, this post is for the women who do not feel respected by the men in their lives.
Women have many opportunities to feel that her man doesn’t respect her – when he makes a mess and leaves it for her to clean up, when he doesn’t give her credit for what she does, when he forgets her birthday, when he ignores her, when he ogles another woman in front of her, etc. etc. The list could go on, so please forgive me if I haven’t included your specific issue. If I knew what it was, I would include it. Also, please forgive me if I do not say this in a politically correct manner. I would if I could only figure out how to do it! Stop expecting your husband, boyfriend, etc. to respect you.
And respect yourself regardless of how he behaves. The aforementioned examples are not a lack of respect – they are behavior issues. My mother and grandmother (and basically everyone in their generations) did not ever expect to find their self-worth from their husbands. They considered women to be superior to men in many ways. They would laugh outright at the idea of a man being in charge of their self-respect. They knew that men had “behavior problems”. That doesn’t mean they accepted bad behavior. Far from it! They may have been angry, but never disrespected. They respected their own power to deal with any problem that presented itself. Forgive me if I have offended you! I don’t mean to. I mean to awaken you to your own power.
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Would you end your relationship with a two year old when the child acted out? Would you feel disrespected? No. You might decide you needed a “mom’s day out”. My mother and grandmother regularly scheduled time away because they knew they needed it and it was appropriate for them to take care of themselves. They respected themselves. We can learn from them. We don’t have to wait until we are ready to have a nervous breakdown before we put ourselves and our needs into the schedule. We don’t have to be angry at husbands and children. We can still love them, but we have to get away from them regularly, because of their annoying behavior. They don’t get to decide if we are worthy of respect. We do. (Rant over.)
A final thought…do we respect others? If we criticize others and call them names, that is not respecting others. Respect for ourselves comes from within, and guides us in how to respect others.