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Premarital Counseling

The Importance of Premarital Counseling

In my practice, I find that the focus of couples is often on the wedding day rather than what comes after. This is a mistake. I tell clients that there are issues that need to be discussed before they get to the altar. I encourage couples to plan their marriage at least as carefully as they plan their wedding day. Your wedding is one day; your marriage is the rest of your life.

Planning for Marriage: Beyond the Wedding Day

By planning, I’m talking about everything from soup to nuts. You may not have thought about certain conditions and expectations before you said “I do,” but when you’re married, you’re forced to confront them: holidays, parenting, relatives, and more. Many people don’t think about these things. The decisions they’re confronted with can be a shock.

Changing Expectations and Legal Obligations

Expectations may change. You and your future spouse may think marriage is just a piece of paper, but it’s more than that. It’s a set of obligations required by law, and people have built-in expectations. By people, I’m referring to family, friends, employers, business associates – everyone you come into contact with.

Truly Knowing Your Partner

Often, couples tell me they didn’t really know each other until they were married – even unmarried couples who have lived together. Just because you live together doesn’t mean you’re ready to be married. They’re not the same thing. Premarital counseling helps bridge this gap, ensuring you understand each other deeply before making the lifelong commitment.

Key Topics to Discuss in Premarital Counseling

How will the money be handled, bookkeeping, purchases? How will you manage debt? Financial compatibility and transparency are crucial for a harmonious marriage.

Do you both agree that you want or do not want to have children? What if one of you changes your mind? Discussing your desires and expectations about children is essential.

Family Dynamics:
Do you have any idea who your in-laws are and how you’ll get along with them? How will you share holidays and special occasions with them? Have you spent time with each other’s family? Are you aware of any family obligations, deep-seated traditions of your betrothed? Understanding and managing family relationships can prevent future conflicts.

Cultural Considerations:
If you come from different cultures and want children or already have young children, how will that culture affect how they are raised? If you are of different religions, how will those religions be practiced? How might cultural and religious differences affect your marriage, the children you raise, and your extended family? Cultural differences can even vary significantly within regions of the same country, such as between the North and South in the U.S., requiring a major adjustment.

Addressing the Reality of Marriage

Unless you’re a clone, there are always going to be issues. You may think that because the sex is good between you, everything else will fall into place. It doesn’t work that way. Premarital counseling prepares you for the realities of marriage, ensuring you have a solid foundation.

The Role of a Counselor

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to talk you out of getting married. Marriage can be a wonderful thing, everything you hoped for. It’s my job as a counselor to remove the rose-colored glasses and prepare you for that beautiful life together. By addressing potential challenges and fostering open communication, premarital counseling helps build a resilient and joyful marriage.

About Lynn Busch

Since 1979, I have been helping people just like you sort through life’s issues. My experience, curiosity, continuing education, and extensive reading keep me current on new solutions to your age-old problems. I have seen just about everything there is to see, and I listen with a non-judgmental ear. I will challenge your thinking, beliefs, and reactions while teaching you to respond thoughtfully to the “not-so-fairytale” life.

The Foundations for A Successful Marriage 

I help people to be themselves. Sometimes that means learning to be okay with not having a “greater calling,” but instead spending life on the beach, living off an inheritance while others work all day. Other times it means coming to terms with the idea that spending less time cleaning means you will never have a perfectly kept house, but you will have a better family/personal/work life. I can help you get to the root of your problems so you can reach the happy life you have been waiting for!

Frequently Asked Questions

What is premarital counseling?

Premarital counseling is a form of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. It covers essential topics such as finances, children, family dynamics, and cultural considerations to ensure a strong foundation for a lifelong commitment.

Why is premarital counseling important?

Premarital counseling is important because it helps couples address potential issues before they become major problems. It fosters open communication, mutual understanding, and realistic expectations for marriage.

What topics are covered in premarital counseling?

Premarital counseling covers a range of topics, including finances, children, family dynamics, cultural and religious considerations, and effective communication strategies.

How long does premarital counseling take?

The duration of premarital counseling varies depending on the couple’s needs and goals. Some couples may benefit from a few sessions, while others may require more extensive preparation.

Can premarital counseling prevent divorce?

While premarital counseling cannot guarantee a marriage will never face challenges, it can significantly reduce the risk of divorce by equipping couples with the tools and skills needed to navigate conflicts and build a strong relationship.

Is premarital counseling only for engaged couples?

No, premarital counseling can also benefit couples who are seriously considering marriage. It provides a valuable opportunity to discuss important topics and ensure compatibility before making a lifelong commitment.

Contact Lynn Busch for Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling with Lynn Busch is designed to prepare you for a successful and fulfilling marriage. By addressing key topics and fostering open communication, you and your partner can build a strong foundation for a lifetime of happiness together. Schedule an appointment today to start your journey toward a happy and healthy marriage.

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