Navigating life as the spouse of a physician can be a unique and challenging journey. I understand the intricacies, the demands, and the feelings of loneliness and stress that often accompany this role. As someone who has walked in your shoes and received professional training, I want to assure you that true happiness is within reach, transcending every aspect of your life, including your relationship with your spouse.
You deserve a fulfilling life, one that you can relish to the fullest. Your place in the world exists, waiting for you to discover it. Even more, a rewarding and loving relationship with your physician spouse is attainable.
Conventional self-help literature rarely addresses the realities faced by physician spouses. But now, you have a sanctuary where you can seek guidance tailored to your unique circumstances. I’m here to assist you in uncovering the happiness you’ve been seeking – your own happily ever after.
Dealing with Loneliness
Have you ever confided in a friend about the challenges you face, only to hear them say, “You’re lucky to have married a doctor!” This comment often implies that you married solely for financial security, which couldn’t be further from the truth. You married your spouse out of love, not for a paycheck. You might encounter this sentiment frequently, but don’t let it consume you. Such remarks are relics of an era when women lacked the means and rights to build independent lives.
To combat loneliness, cultivate meaningful activities and engage in causes that ignite your passion. Express your unique self when you’re apart from your spouse. If you’re working, find satisfaction in your career, knowing that your contributions are valuable. Remember, the world thrives on diverse talents and passions just as vital and fulfilling as the field of medicine. Live your life alongside your spouse, not solely through them.
Managing Expectations and Disappointments
It may sound harsh, but managing your expectations can help prevent disappointments. If you don’t set high hopes for family vacations, dinner reservations, or attending your child’s school events, you won’t be as let down when plans change. Instead, replace these feelings with the understanding that your spouse is doing their best – though you might still experience minor disappointments.
Marrying a doctor often means living in a perpetual state of “We’ll do that once I finish (insert commitment).” It’s the reality of being married to someone who wields godlike abilities in their profession. Surgeons, for instance, perform life-changing procedures, bordering on the miraculous. While doctors can come across as self-assured, remember it’s a coping mechanism for the stress they endure. They must be in control in high-stakes situations where lives hang in the balance. Plans and promises may falter, but it’s a testament to their dedication to saving lives.
Finding “Together Time”
When time with your spouse is constantly limited, communication can suffer. Aim to resolve disagreements promptly and honestly, avoiding nit-picking. Sometimes, taking a break, counting to 100, and revisiting the issue later can help. Usually, anger or frustration dissipates in time, allowing for a more constructive conversation.
Embrace Flexibility
Opportunities for quality time with your spouse may not always align with your schedule. Embrace flexibility, don’t sweat the small stuff, and maintain open communication. You’ll navigate the challenges together and emerge stronger.
Building Alliances
Support is essential, especially during the demanding stages of medical training. Seek out fellow physician spouses who understand your journey firsthand. These individuals can provide much-needed empathy, laughter, and shoulders to lean on. Forge strong connections with them and others who share similar circumstances. You don’t have to carry your burdens alone.
Shared Interests
Sometimes, it may seem like your interests and goals are worlds apart. Bridge that gap by engaging in shared hobbies, such as a regular date night or physical activities like biking, running, or swimming. Marriage is an evolving dynamic that requires effort and cooperation from both partners.
Remember, as the spouse of a physician, your journey has its unique challenges and rewards. Through counseling and support, we can work together to help you find balance, fulfillment, and happiness in your relationship and life as a whole.