Infidelity Counseling
Marital indiscretion has got to be the most painful and damaging act committed in a relationship with two spouses. Why does it happen? What motivates one member of the relationship to look outside the marriage for something they feel lacking in their marriage?
That begs the question: Does infidelity always come down to a matter of sex? Is it the novelty of having an intimate sexual connection with someone other than the person one has been married to? Is it seeking out a sexual release that hasn’t been satisfying with a spouse? Is it the thrill of doing something new or forbidden, something highly emotionally charged: secret meetings, romantic dinners, brief passionate hotel encounters? Or is it about sex at all?
Psychotherapists specializing in Infidelity counseling like myself commonly agree that men and women have affairs outside of marriage or a committed relationship for different reasons and those reasons are often not about sex. For women, it’s often about filling an emotional void. For men, it’s often the feeling of being emotionally disconnected from their loved one, unappreciated or insecure, feeling that their life is unfulfilling, or because of some deep-seated sexual addiction.
In either case, infidelity has two distinct qualities:
- There’s an emotional connection to another person that would otherwise be reserved for their significant other.
- The relationship is being kept secret from their significant other.
A marriage could be in jeopardy. You or your spouse could be considering leaving the marriage; you, as the betrayed, may be left for the other woman or man. You may want to leave because you feel betrayed, that a trust has been broken that is impossible to regain.
I can help you move forward
As a couples counseling specialist, I can help you decide if you want a future together, and if so, help you understand what led to the betrayal, and help you – if you choose – to reestablish trust, heal emotional wounds, and rekindle the relationship you once had and make it even better. Many of my clients working through infidelity do choose to mend their relationships and often create better ones.