This wrong belief has put an end to marriages just on the brink of healing. The fact is, people do change. Here is a typical scenario of what happens: A wife has been telling her husband for years that she would like him to … (fill in the blank). He continues on, and seems to ignore her requests and possibly not even hear them. Finally,… Read More »Wrong Belief # 8: People Never Change
With this belief, you are taking responsibility for making yourself happy. There’s nothing wrong with that. Or is there… We do not have the power or capability of making ourselves happy. If we take on our own happiness as a job, we are bound to become frustrated. Happiness is elusive. It is not a permanent condition. If we live long enough, we will experience sorrow,… Read More »Wrong Belief # 6: I Need to Make Sure I Am Happy
Wrong Belief #4: I can and should look like I’m 25 years old…even when I’m 45 years old. We live in a culture that glorifies youth and fears age and death. Can you imagine how much money would be lost in our economy if we suddenly all decided we were just fine with looking older? We don’t want to be that old person in the… Read More »Wrong Belief #4: I Can and Should Look Like I’m 25 Years Old
Another way of phrasing this wrong belief is to think that you can do things without incurring consequences. Actions have consequences. So, obviously, four glasses of liquor every night is going to cost your body. Your body can’t keep up with detoxifying that much liquor and doing everything else it has to do. Eventually, you will become sick. Something’s gotta give. I don’t mean to… Read More »Wrong Belief #3: I Can Drink 4 Glasses of Liquor Every Night without Consequences
The belief that we deserve to have mind blowing sex every time we couple causes so much pain and anguish I have to weigh in on this topic. Let me state up front I am not a sex therapist. However, I have counseled lots of couples over the years, and I have seen how sex can be a source of excruciating frustration, sadness, pain, and… Read More »Wrong Belief #2: I Deserve to Have Mind-Blowing Sex
Wrong Belief #1: I can control my spouse’s behavior, thoughts, and speech. When we see this sentence written out, we may think we don’t believe “that”. But let me ask you this: do you get angry when people don’t agree with you? Do you take it as a personal affront? Do you see it as your mission to “educate” someone who is “incorrect”? Do you… Read More »Wrong Belief #1: I Can Control My Spouse
Spring – a time when life begins anew. After this past winter, I am hungry for spring. One way I prepare is to take stock, and to clean up what is staying and say goodbye to what it’s time to get rid of. We can do this with our relationships too. Don’t worry – I will not advise you to get rid of anybody! (Dumping… Read More »Spring Clean Your Relationships!
When I decide to listen, I like to begin by using my sense of hearing to tune in to my environment. I just make note of the sounds of my house, like my dog snoring, or the noise the washing machine makes. I notice if a sound is pleasant or unpleasant. If it’s unpleasant, is there anything I can do to change it? I can… Read More »What will you hear if you listen?
What are your New Year’s resolutions? Get your finances in order? Get your house in order? Lose weight? Start exercising? Join a gym? Get your closet and wardrobe in order? Fix your marriage or else? Please throw these resolutions out the window! This year, I want you to consider a different kind of resolution: resolve to listen to your body and reclaim your health slowly… Read More »A new take on New Year Resolutions
How to be cheerful Cheerful is such an old-fashioned word. We hardly ever hear (or say) it anymore. (We reserve the word “cheerful” for Santa Claus.) To be cheerful means to be full of good spirits, to communicate good to those around you. However, watching the news, rushing around, and just living in our modern world can take its toll. We must consciously decide to… Read More »How and why you should be cheerful