You may have a hard time getting through the holidays without getting your feelings hurt or getting into a fight with your sweetie. When you are dating someone, it may disappoint you when you don’t celebrate the holidays in a special romantic way and/or if you don’t give/get the “perfect” gift. Actually, this holds true if you are married as well. The holidays can be… Read More »How to Deal with Relationship Problems and the Holidays
For many Valentine’s Day is stressful. Perhaps your partner was upset with you for whatever you did or did not do at Christmas. This feels like your last opportunity to make up for a year’s worth (or more!) of mad. Anyway, somehow your evaluation of how your marriage is doing is going to occur on Valentine’s Day, and you’d better “bring it” if you have… Read More »How to Survive Valentine’s Day Without Getting a Divorce
For those of you who are still married after the holidays, congratulations! (Often, husbands are shocked when wives file for divorce just after the holidays, but that’s a different post.) Today’s post is going to address the “moving target” aspect of relationships, something that is particularly annoying to males in general and INTJs* in particular. That being said, it’s a problem for all of us.… Read More »The Holidays Are Over And You Are Still Married
It’s December – and you may feel like getting on your Harley and heading West just to escape your crazy life. Who could blame you? Let’s examine things one by one… Your child’s school needs cupcakes and cookies and 10 extra hours of volunteer time for the annual fundraiser. Your church needs you to go shopping for presents for families it has decided to sponsor.… Read More »Do you feel like running away from your crazy life?
Let go of perfectionism! It’s perfectionism that is making the holidays so difficult. One of my favorite quotes is “Perfectionism is the enemy of the good.” When we want things to be perfect, we don’t get to enjoy the good that is already there. The good things in life are usually mixed up with stuff that is messy. Stuff that isn’t perfect. If we don’t… Read More »Best Tip for Celebrating the Holidays
Why is Thanksgiving a set-up for relationship problems? Because our concept of Thanksgiving encourages us to have unreasonable expectations. There is a place in our brains labeled “Thanksgiving”. In it, there is a harvest table laden with a golden brown turkey, steaming casseroles, polished silverware and sparkling crystal glasses. The furniture is gleaming – there is a faint hint of lemon polish competing with all… Read More »Thanksgiving is a Set-Up for Relationship Problems
What are your New Year’s resolutions? Get your finances in order? Get your house in order? Lose weight? Start exercising? Join a gym? Get your closet and wardrobe in order? Fix your marriage or else? Please throw these resolutions out the window! This year, I want you to consider a different kind of resolution: resolve to listen to your body and reclaim your health slowly… Read More »A new take on New Year Resolutions
Most of us anticipate the holidays with mixed feelings—joy and excitement mixed with dread and depression. Sometimes the negative emotions seem to push out the positive ones. How can we calm down and lower our stress, especially during this hectic time? Build in some cushion. Expect delays. Don’t schedule three different visits to relatives in one day, even if you didn’t get to visit everyone… Read More »How to Lower Stress and Calm Down for the Holidays!
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. (Valentine’s Day is generally your last chance to redeem yourself for being such a big disappointment at Christmas.) No matter that most of us are suffering from burn out, brain fog, and decreased mental capacity, WE MUST CONVINCE OUR LOVED ONES THAT WE LOVE THEM WITH EVERY FIBER OF OUR BEING…or else. Please, can we stop? Let’s give ourselves and… Read More »Valentine’s Day, Expectations, Covid and YOU!
The holidays are a veritable emotional landmine and this year feelings are even more raw. One false step and WHAM! You are in severe pain and your relationships are in trouble. Here are three steps to help you heal hurt feelings. How does it happen and what can you do about it? How it happens is that we have special expectations for the holidays (or… Read More »The Holidays are an Emotional Landmine