If I forgive someone, does it mean I condone their behavior? Or that I trust that person and want to be friends with him/her, and that our relationship is healed. No, it doesn’t mean any of these things. Forgiveness is a completely separate issue. Sometimes you can repair a relationship, and sometimes you can’t. But you can forgive someone… for your own sake, not anyone… Read More »Wrong Belief # 7: If I forgive someone it means I condone their behavior
We have been told to tell the person who hurt our feelings all about it. We have been told that it’s their job to apologize for hurting our feelings, and they should care that they hurt our feelings, and they should show us they are really sorry, and do things to repair our relationship. There’s just one problem—this almost never works. Why? Most of the… Read More »When Your Feelings Are Hurt
We all want peace, especially when we are plagued by anxiety. When that happens, it is tempting to think peace is the absence of anxiety. That peace would be how we felt if we weren’t afraid to leave our house, or pay our bills, or get on the airplane, etc. (By the way, I’m just randomly picking examples of what could cause anxiety. If this… Read More »Make Peace with Anxiety
There are, of course, many ways to deal with situations, difficult or not. This is only one way. First, think of a difficult situation. Write it down. An example would be that your child is not unloading the dishwasher, and it is creating a logjam in the kitchen, which frays your nerves and impacts your schedule. Or perhaps your spouse is a grump or a… Read More »One Way to Deal with a Difficult Situation
I heard the other day that if you are depressed, you are thinking about the past, and if you are anxious, you are thinking about the future. Many times, that is true. So, what do you do if you find yourself battling depression and or anxiety? One thing I tell my clients is that the amount of stress you will experience in your life is… Read More »How Do You Battle Depression and Anxiety?
We live in a society that is increasingly reactionary. We are encouraged to have strong, intense opinions and to defend what is “right”. We live in a society that has become polarized, and in which we must “pick sides”. We live in a society that values making quick decisions and rushing into action. Our news programs are often round tables in which people interrupt each… Read More »A Simple Way to Banish Anxiety
Or for you people who don’t carry purses, it could be like saying goodbye to an old, ugly, uncomfortable pair of shoes. Allow me to explore the purse analogy for a bit. I can choose to keep the purse, maybe because it was expensive, maybe because it was a gift, maybe just out of duty and frugality…if I get rid of it, then I’ll have… Read More »Forgiveness is Like Saying Goodbye to an Ugly Purse
This advice goes against the grain of our entire society, but it is guaranteed to help you reduce your anxiety in record time. Stop trying to make yourself happy. That’s it. Just quit the job of trying to create a life that you like. Don’t ask yourself if you are happy. Don’t ask yourself if you like something or don’t like it. Take whether or… Read More »The Fastest Way to Reduce Your Anxiety
Looking for a way to reduce your anxiety? Limit your choices! You may not realize that the myriad of choices you face every day increases your anxiety level. Most people don’t like thinking about limiting their choices. They feel it is a sort of deprivation. But experiment with limiting your choices and see if you don’t feel calmer. Here are some ways to get you started…… Read More »One Way to Reduce Your Anxiety
You may be worried about your spouse. (S)he doesn’t seem to have many friends. (S)he doesn’t want to go out with your friends. (S)he spends a lot of time by him/herself. (S)he is easily disturbed by noise. (S)he doesn’t like meeting new people. No matter what you do, (s)he just doesn’t seem to be able to have much fun with other people. The more fun… Read More »Maybe Your Spouse Doesn’t Have a Social Anxiety Disorder!