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Where do we go from here?

What an interesting/difficult/fascinating/strange/unprecedented time we are experiencing. I’m talking about the lockdown in response to covid-19. This is serious. People are dying, people are losing their livelihoods, and no matter how big the stimulus bill is, there will be fallout. There will be loss. There will be “before the virus” and “after the virus.” When we “return to normal”, it will be different than normal… Read More »Where do we go from here?

Stop Trying to Get Your Needs Met

Trying to “get your needs met” is a recipe for frustration, anger, disappointing relationships, and unnecessary strife. Yes, we all have needs, but starting a conversation with “my needs are not being met” is liable to go to the dark side. It is a euphemism for “I find you very disappointing, and I may have to replace you with a different product because I do… Read More »Stop Trying to Get Your Needs Met

Keep Calm and Save Your Relationships

Is your relationship plagued by fights and reactivity? When your partner says something that scares or infuriates you, do you “lose it” and say things you later regret? Most of us have experienced this very unpleasant situation. However, if you want to save your relationships (and your health), you’ve got to stop reacting and start developing a safe communication strategy. The first thing to do… Read More »Keep Calm and Save Your Relationships

Tired of Being Stuck? Try This…

Are you extremely frustrated, and even in despair because things don’t ever seem to change? You have tried everything, and it just seems like whatever you do or say just doesn’t matter. You feel hopeless. Your partner will never love you. You will always be overweight, in debt, and unloved. Your house will always be a mess. I am not going to give you any… Read More »Tired of Being Stuck? Try This…

What to Do with Past Hurts

The past never lasts… The past never lasts…except every morning, noon, and night when you can think of nothing else – nothing except what you did or said that you wish you hadn’t, or what someone else did or said that left you in a world of hurt and pain. Perhaps you have forgiven that person, or yourself, but still can’t get over the hurt… Read More »What to Do with Past Hurts

I Didn’t Sign Up For This!

We have all been there. We have all lamented “This isn’t what I thought it would be!” We feel we have been lied to, defrauded, rooked, and that if we had known what our husbands/wives were really like we would never have gotten married! Of course that’s true. Who would voluntarily sign up for pain and suffering? Our first tendency is to get away from… Read More »I Didn’t Sign Up For This!

What Does it Mean to “Be Heard”?

A common complaint in couple’s therapy is that one or both partners does not feel heard. “My partner doesn’t get me. We aren’t connecting. We are having a problem with communication. I don’t feel heard.” When someone wants to be heard, as we all do, she wants you to listen to, understand, and share her experience with her. How can you do this? By standing… Read More »What Does it Mean to “Be Heard”?

It’s That Time of Year When the World Falls Apart…

Yes, Christmas is upon us. I have been looking around online to see what people are saying about how to handle the stress of the holidays and the general consensus seems to be the following: Declutter everything. Have a meeting with your family and friends in which you enlist the support of everyone for a less stressful holiday. Figure out how to visit five different… Read More »It’s That Time of Year When the World Falls Apart…