Let go of perfectionism! It’s perfectionism that is making the holidays so difficult. One of my favorite quotes is “Perfectionism is the enemy of the good.” When we want things to be perfect, we don’t get to enjoy the good that is already there. The good things in life are usually mixed up with stuff that is messy. Stuff that isn’t perfect. If we don’t… Read More »Best Tip for Celebrating the Holidays
Why is Thanksgiving a set-up for relationship problems? Because our concept of Thanksgiving encourages us to have unreasonable expectations. There is a place in our brains labeled “Thanksgiving”. In it, there is a harvest table laden with a golden brown turkey, steaming casseroles, polished silverware and sparkling crystal glasses. The furniture is gleaming – there is a faint hint of lemon polish competing with all… Read More »Thanksgiving is a Set-Up for Relationship Problems
Quite a few of us have now learned that crisis decision making is not just for CEOs, heads of state, and whoever is in charge of nuclear plants. It’s for all of us when life as we know it collapses in the time it takes to say “rolling blackout”. During this last winter storm, here is what I did: Stay warm enough to stay alive.… Read More »Crisis Decision-making
Are you and your spouse frustrated, fighting, and threatening each other with divorce? I am going to give you two pieces of advice, and I want you to put them into practice immediately. Stop talking about your problems. You read that right. Just stop. Don’t say another word about them. Try if possible to give yourself a break from even thinking about them. You are… Read More »The Quick and Dirty Way to Save Your Marriage
I think “lifestyle creep” has been taking its toll for some time and COVID has shown us so many things just don’t work well for us. When regular life is a huge struggle, something is wrong. We are not training for the Olympics, after all. We’re just trying to get the kids to their next game, help them with their homework, have dinner, do dishes,… Read More »I just flat out don’t want to!
And we are scrambling to keep up, press pause with me for a minute. Let’s talk about all this. There may be a number of things that you have no control over right now. Are you and your spouse working from home? Do you have children that are now home as well? When your stress level has risen considerably, look at what you can control.… Read More »When Life Gets Overwhelming
There has been quite a bit of loss with COVID – jobs, security, the ability to hug our friends, and the list goes on. Some of us have lost loved ones. In addition, there is a growing awareness that our country is experiencing a massive reset. There is an awareness of our mortality. If we are infected, we may die. Someone we love may die.… Read More »Thoughts About Dealing With COVID
Thoughts can help you or drive you crazy. Thoughts and concepts commonly held may not be helpful to you. For example, do you believe that it isn’t “fair” if your spouse has something you don’t have? If your spouse likes her job and you don’t like yours, do you somehow think that isn’t fair? If your spouse only has to drive 15 minutes to work,… Read More »To Change Your Life, Change Your Mind
Most people have problems in the bedroom at one time or another. And sometimes those problems can be complicated. But SOMETIMES it’s pretty straightforward. Ahem. Do your children come into your bedroom quite often? Do they climb into bed with you when they are scared, etc.? Does no one in your house stay in their own bed all night long? Do you drag pillows and… Read More »One reason you are not having sex
Are you now in the situation so many others are dealing with? Two people working from home in addition to home schooling your children? Feeling a bit crowded? Or perhaps downright bloodthirsty? Don’t let the guilt consume you –just because you want to murder someone doesn’t mean you don’t love him/her. However, murder is a messy, inefficient solution to the problems you are now facing.… Read More »Family Getting On Your Nerves During Lockdown?