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How to Love Yourself – Be Kind to Your Spouse



Thanks for learning how to love yourself. You may not realize it, but you are changing the world. Or at least your world. This is the best thing you can do for yourself and for everyone else you care about. It’s better than volunteering, giving blood, and even donating your organs. It is part of your life’s work. And it’s important. Remember that when you think these actions are too simple to make any difference. Nothing is too small  to show yourself that you are loved.

I assume you are still shining your sink before you go to bed at night and getting rid of clutter bit by bit. That will take some time. The second thing you can do to love yourself is to be kind to your spouse. Remember, you are doing this for you – not for your spouse. You may be very disappointed in your spouse, but you can still be kind — and being kind will make you feel better. (There are added benefits to being kind, but I’ll let those be a surprise for you!) You are learning to love yourself and in the process, you are becoming more and more lovely.

[Tweet “Being kind is akin to taking a powerful antioxidant. It will take care of a lot of stuff.”]

So, how do you be kind to your spouse? Here are some suggestions:

  • Listen and make eye contact with your spouse while you are listening. Do not check your cell phone. Do not interrupt. Just listen, and then say something that lets your spouse know you understand. It is not necessary to “fix” the problem. Act like what your spouse is saying is interesting, even if it isn’t. This is not lying; it’s being kind.
  • Say hello when you walk in the door at the end of the day. Greet your spouse before you greet the dogs and the children.
  • Spend 15 minutes every day thinking about how you can meet your spouse’s needs. Actually, go out of your way to meet your spouse’s needs. This is a form of active kindness. Try it. It may save you from becoming a bitter, angry old person that no one wants to be around. Just like you take supplements for your physical health, do this for your spiritual and emotional health. It will also improve your physical health. Here comes a tiny rant: we spend a lot of time and energy worrying about the food we eat. Is it organic, etc.? But the stress and anger we allow into our lives can eat away at our insides and make us sick. Being kind is akin to taking a powerful antioxidant. It will take care of a lot of stuff. (Rant over.)

When you are kind to another person, you are loving and appreciating yourself.